Everybody asks me about sex and frankly I’m a little tired of it. “Go and look it up on the internet,” I say. Obviously I only say that in the present day. If I’ve used one of the purple tickets (which are notoriously difficult to get hold of, sometimes more trouble than they’re worth. Only the other day I was after one for the purposes of sending my good friend Bill some sonnets. He does rather rely on me to keep his publishing targets.)
Where was I?
Sex with a demon isn’t all that different from sex with a mortal. We still have the basic reproductive components that you’re used to (we’re all built from the same basic model, after all) it’s just that demons might have an extra appendage or orifice or both. The gestation times vary, naturally. We don’t have the time nor the inclination to muck about waiting for nine months to pass by. We’d much rather get it all over and done with, thank you very much. A day is about all we can be bothered with, after which we have a new demon or two to play with.
Some of the sub species of demon reproduce even faster than that. A succubus can take the seed from a man at midnight and produce a child before morning. These tend be sad, pathetic creatures; neither human nor demon, and grow up with so few social skills that they become scientists, lab assistants or doctors.
If a succubus is pulling a double shift she might, after she’s been with a man, change form to that of an incubus and lie with a woman. Seed from the man is, if you’ll pardon the pun, seeded with demalkin chromosomes and sent to fertilise the woman. These offspring are mostly human, but with enough demon inside them to further our cause upon the mortal plane. These tend toward the professions of lawyer, soldier and politician.
Higher species of demon kind produce proportionally higher valued children. The Fallen, those demons who sided with Lucifer and were expulsed from the High Place, are the progenitors of the Nephilim when they mate with a mortal. These full half-bloods share the heritage of the ancestry and become powerful indeed. They become world leaders, dictators, gifted sportsmen and, in one case, a bookseller.
That would be Harold, of course, Harold Waterman. Fathered by Lucifer upon a half-faery woman, he had the potential to unite the whole world under a single banner. Instead he chose to collect stamps, play with his train set and sell books. His temporal potential is almost unlimited and attracts all the misfits of the twilight world to his side, where they bumble along having a good time. Where’s the justice in that?
I hang about to give them a nudge in the right direction, naturally. Without me they would have been fodder for the sword of any Seraph that happened along. Do I get any thanks? Answers on a postcard please. If you want a clue the answer is no.
I was talking about what sex with a demon is like, wasn’t I?
It’s fantastic. Take it from me.