Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Plaice for Gossip

Last night was take-out night. We generally reserve Friday nights as a ‘no cooking’ night and order in. It was Harold’s idea originally (“Let’s give the imps one night off a week,” he said) and although I was dubious at first – it never does to encourage them to be lazy – I have to admit it’s worked rather well. Sometimes one of us even goes to fetch it, too.*

Anyway, I offered to fetch it last night and went to the Golden Plaice. Shiva was in there ahead of me getting their dinner as well. Kali took a dislike to the ‘Olde Fishe and Chippe Shoppe’ on account of them putting bacon on her burger once. We don’t even mention the gherkin incident, though Eddie Jones, the proprietor, hasn’t walked quite the same way since.

I asked him how they were settling in and he grinned sheepishly. “So-so,” he said. “She tried to get Thames Water to install extra pipes for blood and asses milk but the woman on Customer Services looked at her as if she was an inmate of Laverstone Psychiatric. She was a bit cross about that.” He opened his shirt and shoed me the bruises from her feet. “Still,” he said, “You have to look on the bright side. She beheaded all the garden gnomes.”

*What’s funny about it is when the imps are expected to produce food they generally go to a restaurant and get it from there. Harold declaring a take-out night actually creates more work for them, since they have to take food orders first.


aims said...

Do you think I could get some imps for around here? I can see that they might come in very handy.

I have to keep feeling sorry for Harold's naivete. Even though he does get far too much attention...but still - farty poo face is either just plain dumb or off in another world.

Leatherdykeuk said...

I could do with a few imps myself but you have to have a demonic contract first, apparently.