Sunday, September 7, 2008


Much sunnier today, I’m pleased to note, although the rain has left the fields with a high water table. I got splattered with mud just by Felicia running past. I can see myself having to find a different walk when the weather worsens.

Since it’s Sunday, I took my usual jaunt around the two churches. How interesting to see the regular churchgoers when their sins are painted like tattoos over their skins.

I left Frank to his memories and let myself out of his house. At least the rain had subsided, although the clouds were an oppressive steel grey that I didn’t like the look of. I wondered if someone up there was watching me, tracking my investigation into the mystery of St Marples’ and ready to let loose a thunderbolt or two. I know from my dealings with the angel Sansuriel that the subject of the Antichrist was on the Banned List.

I got as far as the gate before Frank called me back. “Wait,” he said. “I’ve got something for you.”

I’m always up for a present, so back I went. He rummaged in the cupboard under the stairs* and produced something three feet long wrapped in a piece of authentic seventies curtain material. “This is his sword,” he said. “Take it. The damn thing has only ever brought me bad luck.”

I nodded. “Thanks,” I said. “This will go some way to clearing your guilt.”

“Yes,” he said. “Perhaps not I can remember Matt as the kind soul who always put a sandwich in my hand and a pound note in my pocket.”

“Maybe,” I said. “But mostly you should remember him as the violent young man who tried to cut up a five year old boy. Good day to you.”

The door slammed before I’d even got half way down the path, so for sheer devilment I knocked his satellite dish out of alignment.


aims said...

Oh Jasfoup! I don't know how many times I've read through your dictation and got to the end and burst out laughing!

Shame on those boys for trying to cut up Farty Poo Face. I'm sure you have some way of making sure they suffer for all of eternity with their guilt?

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you Aims. There's room for everyone where I come from ;)