Thursday, October 30, 2008
Albert Monroe was surprised to find me staring at him when he woke up. He leapt backwards three feet which surprised him because his back was against the wall when he started. I found him in the bathroom.
“That was handy,” I said. “It’s a bugger to get people to leave their bodies sometimes. Are you ready?”
“Ready?” He shrank back, his ethereal body partially entering the white tiles on the wall. “Ready for what?”
“To go to Hell.” I took out my brickberry. “You didn’t seriously think you were going upstairs, did you? With a list of unrepented sins as long as yours?”
“Shouldn’t there at least be an angel here to act as council for the defence?”
“This isn’t a courtroom.” I closed the data pad and put it away. “You missed him anyway. He dropped in for a moment, looked at the rap sheet and gave up then and there. You’re going dahn, bub.”
“I heard a fly buzz,” he said. “Surely that means I’m not dead.”
“That was the angel.” I checked my watch. “Seven minutes ago. Now are you coming? I haven’t got all day.”
“How did I die?” he said suddenly.
“How did you die?” I hesitated.
“Yes,” he said. “I was quite healthy when I went to bed, apart from being paraletic with alcohol.”
“um…” I hesitated. “You drowned.”
“In my bed?” Albert laughed. “Why aren’t I wet then?”
I smiled and showed him his body. “You drowned in your own vomit.”