Monday, November 3, 2008
I've seen hundreds of children born over the years but, despite it being a beautiful experience full of the joys of the cycle of life, I’d rather not watch, if it’s all the same to you. I’m a demon of the sixth circle* and let me tell you – childbirth makes me squeamish!
Watching a vampire give birth is even more bizaree,** Quite apart from the huge amount of blood required to sustain a vampire through a pregnancy, if you don’t want the child to be dead when it wakes up*** you have to speed up the whole process so that it occurs between dusk and dawn.
What a mess that is. Add to the gore the fact you can’t afford a protracted birth – the baby has to be cut out ASAP. At least vampires heal quickly.
Harold’s either got to keep his parade of blue balls in his pocket or find a mortal girl to sire his brood on, intelligence optional.
Still, Lucy is as darling a baby as any you’d ever care to love. She has to be registered by Thursday, though, so we’ll need to do something about her wings.
*I got the promotion after banishing an angel. Let’s not tell anyone where I banished it to, all right?
**Mis-spell intended. What do you think – does it make the word any more palatable?
***Wakes up dead, if you follow me – a ‘born once’ vampire baby.