Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Quiet Man

There is a gentle man in the village, full of simple green living and the simple pleasures of life. He doesn’t drive, doesn’t drink, and doesn’t eat meat. If he needs to go anywhere he rides his bicycle – and what that man can carry on a bicycle many men couldn’t manage in a car – or takes the train.

Added to that he’s converted his house to run on solar electricity and hasn’t had an electricity bill since February. Cats adore him and his garden is a haven for wildlife. To coin a modern buzzword, he has a negative carbon footprint.

He has no television – content with the radio and reading books of all kinds. He spends an hour a day in quiet meditation. And he’s celibate.

And that’s the problem. I can’t get him on a single sin. My tempting is utterly fruitless.

He’ll still end up in Hell, of course, on the Almighty’s almighty sub-clause: “You could have believed in God.”


Stinking Billy said...

Rachel, one of your best, shortish, but I understood every word of it and it all made so much sense. Which is a pity in a way, here was I, thinking that all my years of celibacy would surely get me through the golden gates, and now I find I have to start going to church. Are you sure about that?

Leatherdykeuk said...

Alas, yes, Billy - it's one of the tenets.

Thank you, though, for the compliment. I know this man :)

stephanie said...

Drats! Ah, well, Jasfoup must stay in business, I suppose, and there is much to be said about the size of one's carbon footprint. Tell me, will this man be shocked at the end?

I agree. One of your best.

DK Green said...

how utterly wonderful - it's Rowan!! :-) xxx

aims said...

No sin like the greatest then....

Any God would have done the trick?

And I would like to see how you danced around this guy - trying and trying....what fun!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Alas, he's resistant to temptation!

renewable-energy-works said...

Since the last post we are beginning to see some progress and a few cracks are appearing.

It was hard work and several favours had to be called in, but some television viewing has now been done by the previously TV free individual.

I hope downstairs is greatful. Do they realise just how hard bringing "Dr Who" back to the screen turned out to be.

It is also pleasing to report the individual is now surfing porn sites. OK, the daily download of the UK electricity grid stats is pretty way out stuff, but porn is in the eye of the beholder.

Now a few more jobs down Lambeth or Southwark way need to be manufactured, as it is quite posible there may be some stirings of "Desire" if he has to walk past Evans Cycles on the way to the wholesaler

Leatherdykeuk said...

Ha! Fabulous update, old bean.