Thursday, December 18, 2008

Global Edits

This was funny.

I was editing a novel for a *cough* friend recently. It wasn’t their usual style – it was a murder mystery novel about… well, a murder but it took sex and fetishistic practices in its stride – a murder mystery for the modern, forward thinking polyamorist let us say. A character in the book was called ‘Holly’ in the first draft and between that draft and giving it to me to edit, the writer had done a global search and replace, changing ‘Holly’ for ‘Maria.’

Alas then, that I was taken by the phrase ‘Robert fell into the Maria bush and was held fast by the sharp spines, unable to move for fear of the many pricks surrounding him.” Even in a novel where graphic sex is commonplace this is taking things a bit far.

You just can’t take a murder seriously after that.

In other news I bought indoor / outdoor lights today. I have to drill through the wall, though, because the transformer needs to be indoors. It should be pretty with no trace of plastic santas.

Actually, I found something worse than plastic santas. It’s light-up plastic snowmen with a ‘let it snow’ placard. Where’s my flamethrower?


Stinking Billy said...

jasfoup, I might have to think twice before attempting to pronunce 'festishistic'. I will never forget explaining to a new female science officer at work one day that my little department was working to a shite tedule.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Brilliant, Billy - I bet she was amused, though.

stephanie said...

*laughs* I'll have to try a global find&replace just to see how irritable I can make a reader a two now.

I bet the plastic snowman is posh.

Leatherdykeuk said...

No! No! "Posh plastic snowman" is an oxymoron

Juliette M said...

Ooh! I hope this is DK's book. I'm looking forward to reading that when it comes out*!

*as it were ;)

I am now giggling like an idiot at the 'Maria bush'...

Leatherdykeuk said...

Actually, it was one of mine - a non-urban fantasy sex crime novel that I doubt i'll ever be able to sell.