Monday, December 15, 2008
It’s always a delight to receive tormented letters. Sometimes our guests don’t realise they’re in hell and are under the impression they’re still alive. In such cases they often request to send a letter ‘home’ and, if we’re feeling particularly generous, we allow it.
These letters generally take the form of the person believing they’re in prison in some backward country that allows prisoners to be tortured – Ecuador, or Paraguay, or America – and send missives home begging their loved ones to contact AmNasty International on their behalf. They go on to list some of the tortures and their tormentors* and generally finish with a whole tirade of ‘I love you’s.
We print the best ones in an annual anthology.
*The pit demons have a running competition for the most mentions in these letters. The winner gets bonuses determined by the Dukes and Princes.