Friday, January 2, 2009
New Year, New Door
New Year’s Day was a quiet affair in Laverstone Manor, though there was almost an inquisition about who polished off the Quality Street. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t Caroline Smailes because she only dropped in for half an hour and I saw her with Julie’s tin of Roses the whole time. Have you noticed that the green oblongs and the orange squares are both runny toffee?
We didn’t play monopoly again since everyone was convinced Harold cheats by ‘inventing’ house rules. I must confess to being unable to find the ‘Galactic Wormhole’ rule in any of the Monopoly guides or even online. Instead we played ‘The Settlers of Catan’ and Harold won without any need for house rules at all. I still maintain that I had a village on the triple forest before I went to make the tea.
Sadly, the kitchen door of the Manor is in desperate need of replacement. The current one is a half-glazed piece of pine, added in the seventies when Frederick decided that a porch was a good idea. The porch (which quickly filled with old newspapers and Wellington boots* ) was removed in 1992 but the old door, which was really only supposed to be an internal one, remained. Technically it’s still there, but since Felicia, in wolf form, tried to come in through the cat flap** it is less intact than it used to be.
So we are in search of a new kitchen door. Harold has his heart set on something ‘in keeping with the character of the house’. “What?” I said, “do you think we should get a Wendy House and use the door off that?”
“Something historical,” he said. “Something grand that makes a statement. Something big and white with black ironwork reminiscent of the great coaching houses of the nineteenth century.
What fills me with dread is the whole concept of traipsing round DIY warehouses looking at doors and then Harold’s expectant face as he waits for me to say whether I like it or not. Honestly, he treats me like a husband sometimes.
Fortunately, I have a plan.
*Not that anyone knew who owned them. Three pairs of Wellies and no owner. Where did they come from?
**In her defence there were a couple of lost walkers outside that would have been most surprised by the appearance of a naked Felicia in the garden.