Thursday, May 6, 2010

Dead Rite Chapter 2.04

"God! What were you eating? It stinks in here." Sam pushed him out and closed the door. Dilbo heard the bolt slide shut on the other side followed by several groans from his flatmate.

He headed to the desk and sat gingerly, expecting pain from his bottom but pleasantly surprised when there wasn't any. He opened up his laptop and typed 'evacuating intestines through the bowel' into a search engine, but all it offered him were sites on taxidermy and mummification of corpses. The only medical site that mentioned it at all was one about the treatment of prostrate cancer and he was quite certain he was too young to be concerned about that.

He tried an alternative search: "involuntary loss of intestines" but only came up with sites about death and evisceration. There were a few results about zombies, too, and he spent a pleasant few minutes reading an online comic about a man who wished his parents would come back from the dead. Tragic but funny.

The bathroom door opened, emitting an odour Dilbo was all-too familiar with. "Dude," said Sam. "I have to go to the hospital. You'll never guess what just happened."

"You crapped your intestines out?" Dilbo could have laughed at the expression on Sam's face if he'd cared enough.

"How did you know?"

"I just did the same." Dilbo clapped his friend on the shoulder. "But tell me: you feel fine, right? No pain?"

Sam nodded. "Hey, that's right. What's up?"

Dilbo shrugged. "I wish I knew."

4 comments:

aims said...

After this food should be zipping through them with speed and without problems.

Hmmmm- will they always be hungry then?

Leatherdykeuk said...

Always and forever!

stephanie said...

*chuckles* Oh, dear. There you go again, deftly weaving those threads. Tom in the comic perhaps?

Love the trolling the internet. Priceless.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Yes -- Tom indeed.