Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Dead Rite chapter 7.07

"What is it exactly you want me to do, though?"

Legion looked at him with eyes of pure darkness. Eyes in which black holes would fear to tread and slink off to take a new career as the filler between galaxies. Harold could almost see the back of his head in them. "Find my missing children"

"Well, yes. That's the fundamental problem, isn't it." Harold splayed his fingers as he talked, something he used to do as a child when he didn't really understand what he was talking about or, something Ada quickly took advantage of, when he was lying. When you say "children" what you actually mean are five thousand year old demons. I mean, where do I start?"

Ada threw an apron at him. "You could start by making a cup of tea. I'm parched."

Harold caught the apron purely by reflex, staring at it for several moments. "I suppose so." He looked at the two women. "Would you like to come into the kitchen? Delirious can look after the shop for a bit." He looked up at the imp. "Can't you, old son?"

"Up yer' bum." the imp shuffled backward until only the tips of his horns were showing.

"Indeed. Ladies?" He stalked off up the corridor.

"Here," Ada clutched at Legion's arm. It gave her the willies the way it shifted under her touch but she held on anyway because that's what friends were for. And it was always best to be friends with a five-thousand year old demonic entity, in her opinion, Friendship was far preferable to being reduced to a smear of grease on a wall somewhere. "Have you seen this?" She pulled a paperback from the shelves.

""Dykes to watch out for?" No. Is it important?"

"It's interesting. It was seminal in producing a test called the Bechdel Test, where the character Mo will only watch a film if it passes three conditions."

"And?"

"Well." Ada leaned in closer, thinking privately that Legion could use a few tips on dental hygiene. Lucifer had bad breath until she taught him to brush and floss. "Any film worth watching, she said, should have two female characters, who have names who talk to each other about something other than men."

"How is this relevant to finding my children?"

"Harold told me about it. It shows how compassionate he is. Of course, It doesn't happen in real life, I told him."

"It doesn't?"

"No. I have several female friends but we generally talk about what a pratt Harold is."