"Um...Thanks, I think." Harold stood and stretched his arm to touch the old pine at maximum distance. It felt the same as it ever did, though perhaps a shade warmer that usual. "Is it safe?"
"Is it safe for us, I mean. Obviously it's safe for you. Will we be sitting down to lunch to find a demon rearing up to bite off out heads?"
"Of course not. Consider it a temporary gift. It will allow you to get in touch with me should you need to."
"Oh. Lovely. It can hear us, then?"
"Of course. A demon can possess just about anything and a table is no different to any other object. Better, even, since the wood was once alive."
"Splendid." Harold plucked up the courage to stand next to the table. "Is the demon confined to the table or can it come out and – I don't know – haunt the philosophy bookcase?"
"It will stay in the table unless it's called out or exorcised by a servant of God."
"Which is unlikely since the Catholics have disbanded their exorcism department."
"Yes." Legion smiled. "They call it progress and so do we."
"Right." Harold pursed his lips. "Time for another cup of tea, I think." He held his hand over the table, daring himself to place it flat on the pine."
"It won't hurt you."
"Okay." Harold's hand bobbed up and down as he summoned his courage. "Is it affected by anything else?"
"I don't know...what if i was to spill, say, a bucket of holy water over it?"
"You might well make it cross. It that something you're likely to do?"
"Not as such, no."
"Then all will be well." Legion nodded to the table. "Touch it, then."
Harold took a deep breath and lowered his hand.
"GAH!" Ada shouted in his ear, making Harold shriek.
"What did you do that for?" He held a hand over his racing heart.
"Because you're a pussy, Harold." Ada sat. "Tell your girl I want a fresh coffee."