Julie reached up to scratch the miniature nightmare. It was bipedal, around eighteen inches from head to toe with a long, reptilian tail which it wrapped around her neck. It was almost like a hairless monkey with flexible digits on both its hands and feet, and a stubby, Neanderthal head with bony eye ridges and reptilian, slitted eyes. Its grey skin was at least modified slightly by a tiger-print loincloth. It leaned forward, stretching its neck to be scratched.
"Not a what, but a who." Julie scritched the creature, her red-painted nails almost a blur. "This is Wrack, my constant companion."
"What does it – he – do?" Dill swallowed noticeably, closing his legs in an unconscious gesture to protect his genitals.
"He looks out for me, don't you baby?" She made kissy noises at the creature which, Dill would swear, actually smiled, revealing twin rows of shark-like pointed teeth. "He's an imp, from the plane of Hell."
Dill laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. There's no such place. Hell, and Heaven for that matter, are just a social ploy to get the general populace to behave. Carrots and sticks and so on."
"This from someone who hasn't had an angel trying to chop their head off." Julie smiled. "I have to go. Enjoy your last few hours."
"Thanks." Dilbert smiled then frowned. "Wait, what? What do you mean 'last few hours?'"
The imp opened its mouth and cackled. "You're dead, bub. You just don't know it yet. You're both ghosts walking around in your meat sacks, acting as if it's an everyday thing. "
Dill frowned, too confused to even notice the imp was speaking. "I don't understand."
Julie gave him a thin-lipped smile and touched his arm. "Have you ever seen a chicked killed in a farmyard? It runs around for a minute or two without its head, not realising its dead."
"And we're the chickens?"
"In a manner of speaking."
Sam turned around, his pint already half consumed and a sticky red moustache around his lips. "I guessed this half an hour ago mate. We're zombies."