Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dead Rite chapter 17.02

Devious spread his teeth into an imp's approximation of a smile. "I wonder how many other diseases are caused by demons."

"I'm not saying this one is, though it would be interesting to see if the symptoms of possession mirror the symptoms of pneumonia in any way." Jasfoup walked on for several minutes, climbing the long flight of steps to the double doors at the top. "Actually, most diseases are caused by Him Upstairs or by mortals themselves. I used to tell Harold: 'Eat a bit of dirt. It's good for you' but no. He washes his vegetables properly and eats the wax they coat supermarket produce with. It's no wonder he's ill all the time."

"Um... When is Harold ever ill?" Devious spoke softly, aware that his perch by the demon's ear was a precarious one. "I've never seen him have so much as a sniffle in winter."

"That's because of his vampire blood." Jasfoup shook his head. "I rue the day she turned up, you know. It spoiled him."

"You had to tempt a vampire or he'd never have survived those first few months. I just wish it had been a male vampire so he wouldn't have become fond of it... wait... someone he didn't like very much, anyway."

"An illiterate vampire?"

"Is there such a thing? I'm sure most people want to become vampires so they have time to read all the great works of literature."

"I doubt that, sir." Devious shook his head. "All the mortals I've ever seen who want to become vampires want to because they think it will make them sexy."

"Ha." Jasfoup reached up and patted the imp's leg. "I shall have to remember that when I'm negotiating contracts. I could get a contract signed, collect the soul and dispose of an illegal undead all in one night."


Anonymous said...

Like the new format. I'm in total agreement with the need for healthy eating.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you. The white text on black was getting hard to read!

stephanie said...


"Um... When is Harold ever ill?"

He does manage to stay remarkably healthy despite himself.

Leatherdykeuk said...

If you were a germ would you run the gauntlet of Harold's heritage?

stephanie said...

No, I would not!