Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dead Rite chapter 89.02

“Brilliant.” Harold tried to imagine what else she'd need. “When I sort out her vocal cords and give her artificial lungs she'll want to be able to interact with people. It'll depend on how she looks, of course. If she looks like a corpse then she'll be stuck answering the telephone for the rest of her life. If we can get her looking partway human she'll have a better chance of having a decent quality of life. So... makeup and a new wardrobe, I suppose. Maybe a plastic over-the-head mask like spie use to look like somebody else.”

“I think that only happens in movies, Harold.” Gillian looked across at Jasfoup and winked. He turned away to hide his smile.

“I saw that wink, you know. I'm not daft.” Harold scowled at the pair of them. “Oh, she needs somewhere to work, too. Could you employ her?”

“Employ a mummy?” Gillian blanched. Not that it was obvious, what with her being a vampire and all, but Harold could tell. “What sort of job could I possibly offer a mummy? Let's face it, she'll be thinner than an anorexic and given to putting curses on clients.””

“She's a legal secretary, not an Egyptian queen. Can't you put her in charge of conveyancing or something. Probate, maybe? Probate lawyers always look as if they're dead, anyway. Being an animated corpse might be a bonus.”

“Only if you're a judge. Why can't you employ her? You need someone to replace Julie in front-of-shop.”

“That's precisely why. Front of shop. She'd scare all the customers away.”

“I've seen librarians that look worse than an casketless mummy.”

“Not the point. It's not happening.”

“Give her your job then. You do the shop desk and she can sit in your office playing computer games.”

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

It's like a game of hot potato. :)

But... didn't Gillian employ her before? Will she feel any obligation toward her now?

Leatherdykeuk said...

No, she worked for an estate agents but...yes, she did work for Gillian when Sam and Dill went in...oh! Time paradox...