Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dead Rite chapter 100.04

“Should I even ask?”
“Probably not.” Harold shivered. “I should have picked up a heavier coat. Let's get in the van. He unlocked the door and climbed in, shutting his own before unlocking the passenger door. “Since I'm a child of Lucifer the three angels of retribution--”


“Sanoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof. You know, the three charged with punishing Lilith for wanting to be Adam's equal?” He glanced across at Dill who looked blank, even for a zombie. “You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?”

“Not really, mate, sorry.”

“Have you even read the Bible?”

“Not as such, no.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, I have an app that gives me a random quotation from the bible when you want one. Searchable by topic, too, so you can put in 'foreskins' or' adultery'.” He began to giggle. “It's pretty funny, sometimes. Was pretty funny, I mean. I sort of lost that phone when I had to leg it from some people who didn't like me eating their cat.”

“So you don't know the bible at all?”

“I know the gist of it. I saw the Ten Commandments on telly one Sunday. Most of it, anyway. I missed the end because 'Transformers' was on the other side.”

“Okay. Never mind than. To cut a long story short, they wanted me to be the Antichrist--”

“Like in the Omen?”

“Yes, only I'm not the Antichrist, see. If every one of Lucifer's kids was the Antichrist the world would end every other week.”

“You've got a lot of brothers and sisters then?”

“Not really, no. Most of them don't survive.”

“That sucks.”

“Yes. Yes it really does.”

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