Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Dead Rite chapter 99.03

“Figures.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“When I was at school there was this girl, Tracey Shaw. Prettiest in the school she was, everyone fancied her. I didn't stand a chance, or so I thought.” He put out a hand and lightly touched Harold's arm. “I wasn't like I am now, you understand. I was a head taller than anyone in the class, for one thing, with a mop of curl I could never get to flatten and covered in such pimples as you could play dot-to-dot. 'Bogbrush' they used to call me.”

“Why? Were you generally covered in...you know...”

“No. Because I was tall and lanky and had a mop of hair.”

“Oh, right. Go on then. You fancied this girl...”

“Yeah. Turned out, she came to me. Wanted to hang around with me and everything. It was magic.”

“Was it? You didn't say you were a mage.”

“Not real magic. Brilliant, I mean. She let me kiss her and everything and once I even copped a feel of her boob.”

“Don't tell me. Then you did her homework for her and never saw her again?”

“No. Obviously I saw her again. We were at the same school until she left at fifteen.”

“And now she works on the till at Netto?”

“No. She went off to be an airline stewardess, she said. Crap at science but a real flair for languages.”

“You know, it's lovely to listed to you two lads reminiscing about the ladies who might have loved you if you'd been attractive.” Ada pushed in between them and squashed the homunculus with a cast-iron saucepan. “But can we get back to the more pressing problem of my little spiderman?”

No comments: