Thursday, August 1, 2013

Dead Rite chapter 154.11


“It didn't, though, did it?” Jared took a mixing bowl from a bottom cupboard and began opening the packets and tins of food he'd removed from the cupboards. “It happened to you. Mr 'I'm Not Gay, Honest' Hislip. I don't know why you don't just admit it. There's no stigma attached to being gay any more. Not in England, anyway. Admittedly, the rest of the world still has a problem with it.”

“That's true.” Harold followed Jared into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. They'd been here fifteen minutes and nobody had thought to offer him a cup of tea. “Mostly, anyway. There are bits of America that accept the homosexual lifestyle just as there are bits of England that don't.”

Jasfoup looked up from his bloodberry. “What bits?”

“Newcastle. Sunderland. Most of Cheshire.”

“Ah. It's grim up north.”

“So it seems.” He turned to Jared, wondering what was happening inside the body. Was the demon playing nicely? Or was it evicting the original host? “What are you making?”

“Lunch.” Jared poured a whole bag of sugar into the bowl and added the tuna, corned beef and custard powder. A packet of butter followed, as did cheese, gravy browning and tomato sauce. He topped it off with a packet of Aunt Betty's Treacle Sponge Mix and used his hand to mix it all together.

“What do you call it?”

“A penis. What do you call yours?”

“No, I meant your bowl of food.”

“What do you call that concoction ov vegetables generally eaten cold with a vinegar dressing?”

“A salad?”

“Yes. This isn't one.”

No comments: