Thursday, August 8, 2013

Dead Rite chapter 155.04

“Without the discussion? Or without the penis envy?” Jasfoup gave him a nudge with his elbow. “You'll never be free of the latter with the size of your todger.”

“You're just as bad as everyone else.” Harold glowered. “You've just been admonishing me for not kissing Janet Forsythe on our one and only date and sending her into a spiral of despair and yet here you are belittling the size of my appendages without so much as a by-your-leave. How would you feel if I spiralled into self loathing and despair. Would that please you?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, that's something, I suppose. Thank you. A little contriteness goes a long way.”

Jasfoup paused, one finger pointing up in a 'hang-on-a-minute' gesture and the other hand pressed to his ear which, since he was already wearing sunglasses, gave him the aspect of a classic CIA cinematic pose.

Harold waited until the demon became animated again. “What?”

“I wasn't being contrite. I was being honest. I'd get no satisfaction from your spiral into depression and eventual suicide because your soul is already forfeit so I'd have nothing to gain by it. Neither would I be upset by your demise because it brought an end to my middle earth wanderings. You're not my only prodigy, you know. There are four others scattered across the world.”

“When do you have time for anyone else? You're here almost every minute of the day.”

“Oh how quaint.” Jasfoup chuckled. “You mortals are so linear. You believe time is organised this way or that way and can't conceive of it being any other. Each of my five protégés believes I spend all my time with them, you know.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe.”

“Of course you do. That was precisely my point. You're so linear.”

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