Thursday, October 3, 2013

Dead Rite chapter 159.04

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“It encourages sloth. Nothing makes an angel fall faster than sloth, if they can be bothered at all. They're supposed to do visits in person and perform the gentle art of portents and discouragement, assuming it's not in their best interests to opt for non-interference. It'd be His will to have an unexpected train crash outside Basingstoke.”

“That's horrible.”

“Is it?” Jasfoup raised an eyebrow. “It's good for us, of course. We get the whole gamut of commuters coming down to see us. It's good for the economy, because it creates jobs for the train makers and the office workers and it's good for Him as well.”

“Why would it be good for Him?”

“There's always one miraculous escape. One random coincidence people can attribute to His will. Someone will miss the train of be standing just at the right point in the fourth carriage while the rest of the train concertinas in both directions around them. And afterwards you have community centres up and down the country praying for the families of those involved. It's all good business for the Church.”

“What a horrible thought.”

“Exactly. And just as a point of coincidence, what do trains run on?”

Harold frowned, knowing the answer but unsure where the question was leading. It felt like he was being led into a trap by the comfortable hand of logic. “Rails.”

“Yes, and what is generally accepted as the main point of rails?”

“They're equidistant from each other at all times?”

“They're straight. That's what they're known for. And straight is exactly what we've just been talking about. Straight means order, thus order means train crashes.”

“But...” Harold shook his head, bowing to the weight of fuzzy logic. “Never mind.”

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