Saturday, October 12, 2013

Dead Rite chapter 159.13

Harold shook his head. There was an acrid taste in his throat, though whether it was the emotion of watching an innocent creature be incinerated, or the fumes from the incineration (it had smelled like a combination of burning rubber and nail varnish), he couldn't say. He pointed soundlessly at the sales assistant who was in the process of pouring the ashes onto the postage scales. “Can he do that?”

Jasfoup shrugged. “Clearly, he just did.”

“No, I mean, is he allowed to do that? Isn't there some basic human rights about cruelty to animals?”

“Here? No.” Jasfoup patted him on the shoulder. “While I appreciate the basic goodness you've absorbed from the humanity around you, it doesn't really have any practical application in Hell. Basic human rights concerning the mistreatment of animals is all very well – and I'd be first to condemn someone not feeding a cat at the right time – but you're forgetting two major things.”

“Which are?”

“One, Human values rarely apply to demons and two, a phone isn't an animal.”

“What is it then?”

“How should I know? There certainly weren't any in the Garden of Eden and I'm pretty certain nobody said 'Hey, Noah! Don't forget your mobile phone.”

“Where did they come from then?”

“Why don't you ask?”

“I will.” Harold walked back to the counter. “Excuse me?”

The sales assistant looked up. “Excuse you? I can't even explain you.”

“Har-de-har.” Harold scowled. “Where do the phone...” He struggled for a noun. “Creatures come from?”

“The manufacturer, obviously.”


“Of course.” The sales assistant bristled. “Any complaints will have to be made to them.”

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