Friday, October 25, 2013

Dead Rite chapter 160.12


“Not exactly.” Dill studied the arm on the counter. “How much does an arm weigh?”

Our arm, or a normal arm? Fingers clattered over the keyboard, though not as fast as Dill could type. That was the difference between a software engineer and a hardware designer. Dill could type almost as fast as he thought, though only in code. Ask him to produce a CV and he'd be as clueless as the average teenager in a job centre. Doesn't matter, anyway. Either would be about five percent of total body mass.

Right. So if I've grown another arm from what remained of my body mass, overall I'll weigh five percent less than I did five minutes ago.”

Everything will be smaller by five percent. Negligible, really.

No, it's not. I'm smaller than I was. Another cut will make me another five percent smaller.”

It won't, you know. It'd make you five percent of ninety-five percent smaller.

The difference is negligible

Not to your penis. Have you even got a penis? Did they give you one, or were they not mentioned in the book of magic?

Of course I've got a penis. I doubt it's specifically mentioned in the Treatise on Animated Figures but most of me was constructed by demons and I doubt they'd forget a detail like that.”

Have you checked?

Look.” Dill stood back from the desk and exposed himself to the camera, He was, he was happy to see, much better endowed than he had been as a mortal. “Satisfied?”

Yes, though I can obviously extrapolate data better than you.

Why?”

I can deduce Harold Waterman has touched your penis.

No comments: