Friday, January 3, 2014

Dead Rite chapter 163.14


“So did he, actually.” Jasfoup chuckled as he dropped his phone back in his pocket. “He ran a takeaway. You think he'd know the difference between a donor kebab and a shish. Those little sticks are really sharp.”

“Poor man. Was it an irate customer?”

“No, not at all. His wife had left him.”

“Suicide by shish kebab?”

“Not exactly. He read some porn on the internet about putting your John-Thomas between two pieces of kebab for that authentic feeling.”

Harold twisted his mouth into an expression of horror. “Poor bloke. I wouldn't have thought that would have killed him, though.”

“It wouldn't have done, except he used a couple of hot chilli kebabs and had an allergic reaction. He was running to the hospital when a woman shrieked at his exposed nether-regions and set her dog loose on him.”

“It bit off his wedding tackle?”

“No. He ran out into the road and got run over by the ambulance his counter staff had called. Let that be a lesson to you.”

“A lesson for what? Not dipping my John-Thomas in chilli kebabs?”

“No. A lesson in never asking for mayonnaise at a kebab shop.”

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